Matt Madden Impresses Roxanne Kowalski
1. Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
2. Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She's going to blow!
3. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, ...like Wyoming.
4. Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us.
5. Punctual: All right, Delbmin, your nose was on time but you were 15 minutes late.
6. Envious: Ooh, I wish I were you. Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear.
7. Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.
8. Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters.
9. Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle!
10. Commercial: Hi. I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95
11. Polite: Would you mind not bobbing your head? The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
12. Melodic: [singing] He's got the whole world in his nose.
13. Sympathetic: Oh, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14. Complementary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
15. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
16. Obscure: I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17. Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18. French: Ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave!
19. Pornographic: Finally! A man who can satisfy two women at once.
20. Religious: The Lord giveth -- and he just kept on giving didn't he?
21. Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?
22. Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23. Aromatic: It must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ...in Brazil.
24. Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
25. Dirty: Your name wouldn't be... Dick?"
For the comic-strip version pore through Matt's Exercises in Style. (via waxy.org)