A People's History of the Florida Panthers
"Respect to the organization! Submitted below for the edification and amusement of the Party, a brief history of the National Hockey League team the Florida Panthers as seen from a revolutionary perspective."
14.4.04
12.4.04
OMG it's teh christ!
Readings from the log of Matthew, chapter 2 as found in the IRC Bible.
Thx b 2 God.
Readings from the log of Matthew, chapter 2 as found in the IRC Bible.
Thx b 2 God.
9.4.04
Zero Gravity Toilet
PASSENGERS ARE ADVISED TO READ INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE USE
1. The toilet is of the standard zero-gravity type. Depending on requirements, system A and/or system B can be used, details of which are clearly marked in the toilet compartment. When operating system A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron eliminator will be dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose. Twist the silver coloured ring one inch below the connection point until you feel it lock.
2. The toilet is now ready for use. The Sonovac cleanser is activated by the small switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its initial-condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect. Place the dalkron eliminator in the vacuum receptacle to the rear. Activate by pressing the blue button.
3. The controls for system B are located on the opposite wall. The red release switch places the uroliminator into position; it can be adjusted manually up o down by pressing the blue manual release button. The opening is self adjusting. To secure after use, press the green button which simultaneously activates the evaporator and returns the uroliminator to its storage position.
4. You may leave the lavatory if the green exit light is on over the door. If the red light is illuminated, one of the lavatory facilities is not properly secured. Press the "Stewardess" call button to the right of the door. She will secure all facilities from her control panel outside. When green exit light goes on you may open the door and leave. Please close door behind you.
5. To use the Sonoshower, first undress and place all your clothes in the clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet immediately below. Enter the shower. On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob select the desired setting. Now depress the Sonovac activation lever. Bathe normally.
6. The Sonova will automatically go off after three minutes unless you activate the "Manual off" over-ride switch by flipping it up. When you are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and place them in their container.
7. If the red light above this panel is on, the toilet is in use. When the green light is illuminated you may enter. however, you must carefully follow all instructions when using the facilities during coasting (Zero G) flight. Inside there are three facilities: (1) the Sonowasher, (2) the Sonoshower, (3) the toilet. All three are designed to be used under weightless conditions. Please observe the sequence of operations for each individual facility.
8. Two modes for Sonowashing your face and hands are available, the "moist-towel" mode and the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaner mode. You may select either mode by moving the appropriate lever to the "Activate" position.
If you choose the "moist-towel" mode, depress the indicated yellow button and withdraw item. When you have finished, discard the towel in the vacuum dispenser, holding the indicated lever in an "active" position until the green light goes on showing that the rollers have passed the towel completely into the dispenser. If you desire an additional towel, press the yellow button and repeat the cycle.
9. If you prefer the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaning mode, press the indicated blue button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A and B. For cleaning the hands, use in this position. Set the timer to positions 10, 20, 30 or 40 indicative of the number of seconds required. The knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested.
10. After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If, during the washing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and repeat the cycle.
- from 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), directed by Stanley Kubrick
PASSENGERS ARE ADVISED TO READ INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE USE
1. The toilet is of the standard zero-gravity type. Depending on requirements, system A and/or system B can be used, details of which are clearly marked in the toilet compartment. When operating system A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron eliminator will be dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose. Twist the silver coloured ring one inch below the connection point until you feel it lock.
2. The toilet is now ready for use. The Sonovac cleanser is activated by the small switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its initial-condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect. Place the dalkron eliminator in the vacuum receptacle to the rear. Activate by pressing the blue button.
3. The controls for system B are located on the opposite wall. The red release switch places the uroliminator into position; it can be adjusted manually up o down by pressing the blue manual release button. The opening is self adjusting. To secure after use, press the green button which simultaneously activates the evaporator and returns the uroliminator to its storage position.
4. You may leave the lavatory if the green exit light is on over the door. If the red light is illuminated, one of the lavatory facilities is not properly secured. Press the "Stewardess" call button to the right of the door. She will secure all facilities from her control panel outside. When green exit light goes on you may open the door and leave. Please close door behind you.
5. To use the Sonoshower, first undress and place all your clothes in the clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet immediately below. Enter the shower. On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob select the desired setting. Now depress the Sonovac activation lever. Bathe normally.
6. The Sonova will automatically go off after three minutes unless you activate the "Manual off" over-ride switch by flipping it up. When you are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and place them in their container.
7. If the red light above this panel is on, the toilet is in use. When the green light is illuminated you may enter. however, you must carefully follow all instructions when using the facilities during coasting (Zero G) flight. Inside there are three facilities: (1) the Sonowasher, (2) the Sonoshower, (3) the toilet. All three are designed to be used under weightless conditions. Please observe the sequence of operations for each individual facility.
8. Two modes for Sonowashing your face and hands are available, the "moist-towel" mode and the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaner mode. You may select either mode by moving the appropriate lever to the "Activate" position.
If you choose the "moist-towel" mode, depress the indicated yellow button and withdraw item. When you have finished, discard the towel in the vacuum dispenser, holding the indicated lever in an "active" position until the green light goes on showing that the rollers have passed the towel completely into the dispenser. If you desire an additional towel, press the yellow button and repeat the cycle.
9. If you prefer the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaning mode, press the indicated blue button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A and B. For cleaning the hands, use in this position. Set the timer to positions 10, 20, 30 or 40 indicative of the number of seconds required. The knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested.
10. After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If, during the washing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and repeat the cycle.
- from 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), directed by Stanley Kubrick
6.4.04
Grave Error:
[Carnegie Mellon Sudent Newspaper Editor-in-Chief Alex] Meseguer has fired cartoonist Bob Rost, who drew [a] strip in which a goat uses a racial slur to brag to a mouse that he had hit a black person on a bike. Meseguer said he and Managing Editor Jim Puls, who signed off on that page, are considering resigning. All are white.
The April Fool's Day edition of The Tartan also includes graphic depictions of female genitalia, as well as poems about raping a teacher and mutilating a woman with an ice skate.
Meseguer explained to the crowd yesterday that the racial slur had been allowed into print accidentally because fatigue had impaired the editors' judgment. He promised he was taking measures to prevent anything similar from happening again.
But the demands of the campus community, black students said, go beyond an apology or even Meseguer's resignation. They want to reform the stigma and ignorance on campus that once prompted a student to ask Tommy Taylor, an African-American senior majoring in electrical and computer engineering and public policy, whether he could properly pronounce the word "ask."
[...]To review the accuracy, relevancy and effect on the campus of future editions of The Tartan, Meseguer and the administration plan a content review board that includes Dean of Student Affairs Michael Murphy, journalism professor Thomas O'Boyle, Vice Provost for Education Indira Nair and Gloria Hill, director of the Carnegie Mellon Action Project, a support service for African-American, Native American and Hispanic students.
The Tartan also will appoint an ethics manager to oversee general operating procedures and to act as an ombudsman, or representative to the community, Meseguer said."
I find it hard to comment on this story.The cartoon doesn't sound very funny to me, though I'll never see it. It seems to me there are some misplaced priorities and hypersensitivities inflating to distortion a case of run-of-the-mill poor judgment. The proposed "content review board" and "ethics manager" sound like an absurdly heavy-handed reactionary intervention. And is nobody upset about the teacher-raping and mutilating-women-with-ice-skates poems? It's just the n-word?
[Carnegie Mellon Sudent Newspaper Editor-in-Chief Alex] Meseguer has fired cartoonist Bob Rost, who drew [a] strip in which a goat uses a racial slur to brag to a mouse that he had hit a black person on a bike. Meseguer said he and Managing Editor Jim Puls, who signed off on that page, are considering resigning. All are white.
The April Fool's Day edition of The Tartan also includes graphic depictions of female genitalia, as well as poems about raping a teacher and mutilating a woman with an ice skate.
Meseguer explained to the crowd yesterday that the racial slur had been allowed into print accidentally because fatigue had impaired the editors' judgment. He promised he was taking measures to prevent anything similar from happening again.
But the demands of the campus community, black students said, go beyond an apology or even Meseguer's resignation. They want to reform the stigma and ignorance on campus that once prompted a student to ask Tommy Taylor, an African-American senior majoring in electrical and computer engineering and public policy, whether he could properly pronounce the word "ask."
[...]To review the accuracy, relevancy and effect on the campus of future editions of The Tartan, Meseguer and the administration plan a content review board that includes Dean of Student Affairs Michael Murphy, journalism professor Thomas O'Boyle, Vice Provost for Education Indira Nair and Gloria Hill, director of the Carnegie Mellon Action Project, a support service for African-American, Native American and Hispanic students.
The Tartan also will appoint an ethics manager to oversee general operating procedures and to act as an ombudsman, or representative to the community, Meseguer said."
I find it hard to comment on this story.The cartoon doesn't sound very funny to me, though I'll never see it. It seems to me there are some misplaced priorities and hypersensitivities inflating to distortion a case of run-of-the-mill poor judgment. The proposed "content review board" and "ethics manager" sound like an absurdly heavy-handed reactionary intervention. And is nobody upset about the teacher-raping and mutilating-women-with-ice-skates poems? It's just the n-word?
31.3.04
I've started my Christmas Wish List
1. USB Swiss Army Knife
2. The blueprints for the Mercury spacecraft
3. Eames® Soft Pad Chair
1. USB Swiss Army Knife
2. The blueprints for the Mercury spacecraft
3. Eames® Soft Pad Chair
22.3.04
Dear Sir,
Really my message will come to you as a surprise. This is the reason why i first of all, tender my apology and excuse for this un-expected mail I am forwarding to you.
I am Cico Onyeoyi, the only son of late Rtd.Major General(Eng.)Jame Onyeoyi of the blessed memory. My late father was the Executive Chaiman of CROSSMARINE REFINERY AND PETROCHEMICAL Plc., situated in MENDE REGION SIERRA LEONE.
I am writing you from Abidjan Rep of Cote d'Ivoire where I have been hiding after my late father was poisoned in one of their business trip abroad. While my father was in the hospital due to his ill health, he called me and revealed me that he left an important amount of sixteen million eight hundred thousand united dallors
(16,800,000.00) in abroad financial institutions in the overseas, which he adviced me to look for a reliable person who will help me secure incase he dies. He fronted my name Cico Onyeoyi as the next of kin/benefitiary of these deposits.
He later died and four months later, I was visited and treetened by some members of The Board of Director of CROSSMARINE REFINERY AND PETROCHEMICAL Plc. (some of them are my late father's friends/our family members) to tender all documents relating to my late father's business abroad for inspection. I took and hide all these documents including those that issued to my
late father by these financial institutions abroad where this money that runs into millions of united state dollars has been, pending withdrawal.
I am about to cross the boundry between our country and Liberia when I(Cico) was arrested on october 2000 and since then have been detained in a
police station where I under went all sort of purnishement due to the fact that I refused to tender any of these documents they requested from me. It was
by the miracle of the Almighty God that I resently escape from the detaintion when some villagers attacked the police station and oppened the gate for every detainees to escape, while demonstrating their anger, for the death of one of their industrious son who recently died in detaintion two days after his
arrest.
I quickly arranged with a ship Captain to on how to evacuate me to Abidjan where I am presently hiding. This is how I came to this country (Ivory Coast).
Please, could you be able to help me in the following ways:
1-To pay me a visit here in Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire so that we will have a face to face and discuss over this issue.
2-To help me clear the money from one of these financial institutions abroad.
3-To help me invest in any lucrative business venture in your country and to be the general overseer of any venture we may invest in, while we countinue to further our education respectively.
4-To help me secure admission into the school where I will continue my studies. Your compensation for this noble assistance will be negotiated upon your acceptance and arival here to help me.
5-To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my
education and to secure a resident permit in your country.Moreover, sir i am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/ input after the successful God transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas Furthermore, you indicate your option towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within fourteen (14) days you signify interest to assist me. Anticipating to hear from you soon.
I will be waiting for your response and must let you know that my life is not safe here due to the present political crises in Cote d'Ivoire, and also I will like to informe you that my late father's enemies are after me because of this fund (even our family friends/members). Therefore, I will like you to handle this transaction with absolute and utmust confidentiality and maturity as all my future hope and educational arrengement relies on this money.
May the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you while while I looks forward towards your positive response.
yours sincerely,
Cico Onyeoyi.
Really my message will come to you as a surprise. This is the reason why i first of all, tender my apology and excuse for this un-expected mail I am forwarding to you.
I am Cico Onyeoyi, the only son of late Rtd.Major General(Eng.)Jame Onyeoyi of the blessed memory. My late father was the Executive Chaiman of CROSSMARINE REFINERY AND PETROCHEMICAL Plc., situated in MENDE REGION SIERRA LEONE.
I am writing you from Abidjan Rep of Cote d'Ivoire where I have been hiding after my late father was poisoned in one of their business trip abroad. While my father was in the hospital due to his ill health, he called me and revealed me that he left an important amount of sixteen million eight hundred thousand united dallors
(16,800,000.00) in abroad financial institutions in the overseas, which he adviced me to look for a reliable person who will help me secure incase he dies. He fronted my name Cico Onyeoyi as the next of kin/benefitiary of these deposits.
He later died and four months later, I was visited and treetened by some members of The Board of Director of CROSSMARINE REFINERY AND PETROCHEMICAL Plc. (some of them are my late father's friends/our family members) to tender all documents relating to my late father's business abroad for inspection. I took and hide all these documents including those that issued to my
late father by these financial institutions abroad where this money that runs into millions of united state dollars has been, pending withdrawal.
I am about to cross the boundry between our country and Liberia when I(Cico) was arrested on october 2000 and since then have been detained in a
police station where I under went all sort of purnishement due to the fact that I refused to tender any of these documents they requested from me. It was
by the miracle of the Almighty God that I resently escape from the detaintion when some villagers attacked the police station and oppened the gate for every detainees to escape, while demonstrating their anger, for the death of one of their industrious son who recently died in detaintion two days after his
arrest.
I quickly arranged with a ship Captain to on how to evacuate me to Abidjan where I am presently hiding. This is how I came to this country (Ivory Coast).
Please, could you be able to help me in the following ways:
1-To pay me a visit here in Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire so that we will have a face to face and discuss over this issue.
2-To help me clear the money from one of these financial institutions abroad.
3-To help me invest in any lucrative business venture in your country and to be the general overseer of any venture we may invest in, while we countinue to further our education respectively.
4-To help me secure admission into the school where I will continue my studies. Your compensation for this noble assistance will be negotiated upon your acceptance and arival here to help me.
5-To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my
education and to secure a resident permit in your country.Moreover, sir i am willing to offer you 20% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/ input after the successful God transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas Furthermore, you indicate your option towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within fourteen (14) days you signify interest to assist me. Anticipating to hear from you soon.
I will be waiting for your response and must let you know that my life is not safe here due to the present political crises in Cote d'Ivoire, and also I will like to informe you that my late father's enemies are after me because of this fund (even our family friends/members). Therefore, I will like you to handle this transaction with absolute and utmust confidentiality and maturity as all my future hope and educational arrengement relies on this money.
May the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you while while I looks forward towards your positive response.
yours sincerely,
Cico Onyeoyi.
17.3.04
Skulls Unlimited International Inc.
Skulls Unlimited is the World's Leading Supplier of Osteological Specimens! Hey Kids! Do you have a question about skulls, bones, or the animals they come from? Ask the Skull Master! Also, you can buy the now-classic Skulls Unlimited original T-Shirt! It portrays 37 original skull drawings from their catalag, or the new Skeleton T-Shirt with original illustrations from George Cuviers 1836 "Recherches sur les Ossemens Fossils". It comes complete with a labeled key card. To contact them by phone, call 1-800-659-SKULL! Or visit them in Oklahoma City, where the associated The World of Nature Museum of Osteology is projected to be complete and open to the public in late 2005! See you there!
Skulls Unlimited is the World's Leading Supplier of Osteological Specimens! Hey Kids! Do you have a question about skulls, bones, or the animals they come from? Ask the Skull Master! Also, you can buy the now-classic Skulls Unlimited original T-Shirt! It portrays 37 original skull drawings from their catalag, or the new Skeleton T-Shirt with original illustrations from George Cuviers 1836 "Recherches sur les Ossemens Fossils". It comes complete with a labeled key card. To contact them by phone, call 1-800-659-SKULL! Or visit them in Oklahoma City, where the associated The World of Nature Museum of Osteology is projected to be complete and open to the public in late 2005! See you there!
13.3.04
Matt Madden Impresses Roxanne Kowalski
1. Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
2. Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She's going to blow!
3. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, ...like Wyoming.
4. Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us.
5. Punctual: All right, Delbmin, your nose was on time but you were 15 minutes late.
6. Envious: Ooh, I wish I were you. Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear.
7. Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.
8. Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters.
9. Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle!
10. Commercial: Hi. I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95
11. Polite: Would you mind not bobbing your head? The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
12. Melodic: [singing] He's got the whole world in his nose.
13. Sympathetic: Oh, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14. Complementary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
15. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
16. Obscure: I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17. Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18. French: Ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave!
19. Pornographic: Finally! A man who can satisfy two women at once.
20. Religious: The Lord giveth -- and he just kept on giving didn't he?
21. Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?
22. Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23. Aromatic: It must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ...in Brazil.
24. Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
25. Dirty: Your name wouldn't be... Dick?"
For the comic-strip version pore through Matt's Exercises in Style. (via waxy.org)
1. Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
2. Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She's going to blow!
3. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, ...like Wyoming.
4. Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us.
5. Punctual: All right, Delbmin, your nose was on time but you were 15 minutes late.
6. Envious: Ooh, I wish I were you. Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear.
7. Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.
8. Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters.
9. Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle!
10. Commercial: Hi. I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95
11. Polite: Would you mind not bobbing your head? The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
12. Melodic: [singing] He's got the whole world in his nose.
13. Sympathetic: Oh, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14. Complementary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
15. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
16. Obscure: I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17. Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18. French: Ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave!
19. Pornographic: Finally! A man who can satisfy two women at once.
20. Religious: The Lord giveth -- and he just kept on giving didn't he?
21. Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair?
22. Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23. Aromatic: It must wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ...in Brazil.
24. Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
25. Dirty: Your name wouldn't be... Dick?"
For the comic-strip version pore through Matt's Exercises in Style. (via waxy.org)
The Conference USA Men's Basketball All-Name Team
as decided by DystopiaBox
UNC-Charlotte 49'ers: Butter Johnson, Demon Brown
Cincinnati Bearcats: Field Williams, Asrangue Soulymane
Depaul Blue Demons: Chris Exilus, Quemont Greer
East Carolina Pirates: Moussa Badiane, Erroyl Bing, Garth Grindley
Houston Cougars: Grega Nachbar, MoShood Martins
Louisville Cardinals: Nouha Diakite, Prileu Davis
Marquette Golden Eagles: Jared Sichting, Rev. Bob Wild (President)
Memphis Tigers: Simplice Njoya, Almamy Thiero, Modibo Diarra
Saint Louis Billikens: Anthony Drejaj, Izik Ohanon
South Florida Bulls: Terrence Leather, Konumba Diarra
Southern Miss Golden Eagles: Dante Stiggers, Jarekus Singleton
TCU Horned Frogs: Nucleus Smith, Chudi Chinweze, Femi Ibikunle
Tulane Green Wave: Vytautus Tatarunas
UAB Blazers: Donell & Ronell Taylor
as decided by DystopiaBox
UNC-Charlotte 49'ers: Butter Johnson, Demon Brown
Cincinnati Bearcats: Field Williams, Asrangue Soulymane
Depaul Blue Demons: Chris Exilus, Quemont Greer
East Carolina Pirates: Moussa Badiane, Erroyl Bing, Garth Grindley
Houston Cougars: Grega Nachbar, MoShood Martins
Louisville Cardinals: Nouha Diakite, Prileu Davis
Marquette Golden Eagles: Jared Sichting, Rev. Bob Wild (President)
Memphis Tigers: Simplice Njoya, Almamy Thiero, Modibo Diarra
Saint Louis Billikens: Anthony Drejaj, Izik Ohanon
South Florida Bulls: Terrence Leather, Konumba Diarra
Southern Miss Golden Eagles: Dante Stiggers, Jarekus Singleton
TCU Horned Frogs: Nucleus Smith, Chudi Chinweze, Femi Ibikunle
Tulane Green Wave: Vytautus Tatarunas
UAB Blazers: Donell & Ronell Taylor
2.3.04
Brave satire: From The Passion of the Christ Blooper Reel at The Morning News
"Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.
Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]
[Cell phone rings.]
Jesus: [hands shake furiously]
[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]
Roman soldier: Jim? That you?
Jesus: Yeah.
[Cell phone rings.]
Soldier: Want me to get it?
Jesus: Yeah.
[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel's blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel's ear.]
Off Camera: [laughter]
Jesus: Hey, Mom."
"Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.
Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]
[Cell phone rings.]
Jesus: [hands shake furiously]
[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]
Roman soldier: Jim? That you?
Jesus: Yeah.
[Cell phone rings.]
Soldier: Want me to get it?
Jesus: Yeah.
[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel's blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel's ear.]
Off Camera: [laughter]
Jesus: Hey, Mom."
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