A Short List of Things That Have Recently Aroused My Suspicion

5. "One Minute in American History" on the Armed Forces Radio Network
4. Buying milk from an unrefrigerated section of the grocery.
3. The fact that I have yet to receive a phone bill by mail despite correcting my address for the phone company every two months.
2. A group of people wandering around in the middle of the night carrying signs that say "Dorst!"
1. Could Pearl Harbor and the recent spate of super-patriotic movies be covertly preparing Americans for something... something big?

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