The Words of the Balladeer - Episode 5, "High Octane"
Ya'll settle down an' hang around.
That's Bo an' Luke Duke. And from the way they're duded up they've got somethin' cookin'. And you know it ain't girls cuz it's still daylight.
That's Uncle Jesse, the Duke patriarch. And that means he's the boss.
Sometimes it's just as hard to figure out what Boss IS interested in, as it is to figure out what he's really talkin' about.
Explainin' something -- Anything -- to Rosco is never easy. But this time, the Boss seems to be gettin' through. Maybe it's his technique.
Now, for all you culturally DE-prived, "Jukin" is an event that combines music, exercise, and social intercourse on a high plane.
Uh-huh. Ya'll gettin' it now? Ol' Bo and Luke figured to get her all passed-out and out of the way for about twelve hours.
Early next morning they unveiled "Sweet Tilly," a real sweetheart with a leaded body, a hot engine and racing shocks. Jesse and Tilly were a legend. And although he hadn't made a run with her in several years, Ol' Jesse kept her tuned up and ready.
Ya'll stick around for the barbecue, ya hear?
Did you ever see a smugger man in all your born days? Ol' Boss is sittin' pretty cuz he knows the Duke family moonshine will run a motor, is a pretty fair antifreeze, and a durn good remedy for warts and catarrh.
Now right now Ol' Boss is happier than a hog knee deep in slop.
The contest rules state that you either provide a pollution-free engine or a clean fuel that runs an internal combustion engine an' Ol' Boss can hardly wait.
Listen, cuz this ain't over yet. Trouble just startin', cuz now the Dukes got to keep runnin' till they burn up the evidence in Jesse's tank - or they're gonna be sittin' in jail while the government sorts this thing out. How'd you like to be doin' that?
You ever see two hounds fightin' over the same bone? Well the Dukes are feelin' kinda like that bone.
And that's the legend of how Jesse and the boys made both legal and illegal booze and they all made a new friend. Especially Bo.